Some people just love being miserable. You know the type—always complaining, always playing the victim, and always making sure that if they’re unhappy, everyone else around them is, too. They cling to their misery like a security blanket, convinced that life is out to get them, while the rest of us are just trying to do the best we can. But here’s the kicker: for some people, being miserable isn’t just a choice—it’s practically hardwired into their DNA.

The Science Behind Why Some People Are Built for Misery

Let’s talk brain chemistry. Science has shown that some people are genetically predisposed to negativity. Studies on the 5-HTTLPR gene—a serotonin transporter gene—suggest that individuals with a certain variation of this gene are more prone to depression, anxiety, and overall pessimism. Basically, their brains are wired to see the worst in every situation. And while some people work to overcome this, others revel in it.

Then there’s the dopamine factor—the neurotransmitter that controls pleasure and reward. Some individuals have lower baseline levels of dopamine, meaning they need drama, stress, or anger just to feel anything at all. Misery, for them, isn’t just a state of mind; it’s a chemical addiction. They thrive on negativity because it gives them a rush.

Add to that the cortisol addiction—the stress hormone. Constant stress keeps their brains in a state of high alert, and over time, they get used to that state. If things are too calm, they manufacture problems just to get their fix. This is why certain people always have some kind of crisis going on.

The Misery Mindset is Abusive

Miserable people don’t just keep their misery to themselves—they weaponize it. Instead of owning up to their issues, they blame everyone around them. Their job, their spouse, their childhood, the government, the weather—whatever. It’s always someone else’s fault.

But here’s the truth: Blaming others for your own unhappiness is a form of emotional abuse. It’s manipulative, toxic, and completely unfair. When someone refuses to take responsibility for their own emotional well-being and instead dumps that burden onto others, they are sucking the life out of those around them.

How many times have you been around someone who can’t be happy for your success? How often do these people find a way to bring the mood down? Their misery is contagious, and they make sure to infect everyone within reach.

The Conspiracy: How Society Keeps You Miserable

Ever wonder why so many people seem stuck in a cycle of negativity? It’s not an accident. America—hell, the whole world—is designed to keep you miserable. Why? Because miserable people are easier to control.

1. The Food You Eat is Killing Your Brain – The Standard American Diet (SAD, and yes, it’s literally SAD) is loaded with processed garbage that wreaks havoc on mental health. High sugar, low nutrients, and chemicals designed to keep you sluggish and depressed. Ever notice how the cheapest food is the worst for you? That’s on purpose.
2. Media Feeds the Negativity Beast – The news is engineered to keep you scared and angry. Social media is designed to make you compare your life to a highlight reel of other people’s lives, making you feel inadequate and resentful.
3. Pharmaceutical Companies Want You Hooked – Instead of promoting actual health and well-being, Big Pharma profits off people staying sick and miserable. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds keep people numb rather than addressing the root causes of their misery.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Deal with a Misery Lover

So what do you do if you’re stuck dealing with someone who thrives on being miserable? Here’s the hard truth: You cannot fix them.

But you can protect yourself.

1. Set Boundaries and Enforce Them

Misery lovers will drain you dry if you let them. Stop engaging in their endless cycle of complaints. Stop fixing their problems. And for the love of all that is good, stop apologizing for their feelings. Their emotions are their responsibility, not yours.

2. Don’t Take Their Bait

They will try to pull you into their negativity. They will bait you into arguing, guilt-tripping, or feeling sorry for them. Don’t fall for it. Stay neutral, don’t feed the drama, and walk away if you have to.

3. Encourage Solutions, Not Complaints

If they actually want to improve their life, great—help them find real solutions. But if they just want to complain without changing anything, make it clear you won’t participate.

4. Protect Your Own Mental Health

Surround yourself with positive people. Eat real food, get outside, and stop consuming toxic content. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and you don’t owe anyone your energy just because they refuse to fix their own problems.

Misery is a Choice

Look, some people have had it rough. Trauma is real. Mental health struggles are real. But at some point, the excuses have to stop. Life isn’t fair, but it’s what you make of it. If you choose to be miserable, fine—but don’t expect the rest of us to join you.

Misery lovers, you can either break the cycle or keep blaming the world. But remember this: happiness is an inside job. And the people who are really living? They’re too busy making the most of life to wallow in what they can’t change.